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When Chicken Soup Isn’t Enough
by Bradley P. Barris
Having taught many Anger Management classes over the last four years, I have tried to buy and read every anger management workbook and see every anger management video that is available. However, I have been able to actually use none of the workbooks and none of the videos. The trick is to come up with a workbook that is simple, clear, and focused on the reality that many angry people experience.
I feel that Dr. Barris has accomplished this task in his book. His language is simple and clear enough to understand. He points out the illusory “benefits” of anger and also points out the costs. He reviews the lies we tell ourselves to justify our anger, and simply rebuts them with facts. He subtly reframes anger feelings into healthy irritation, which has this special quality that you use the feeling as a cue, but you are always above and in control of your response choices.
In my clinical experience working with angry persons, it is very difficult to float out the concept that Dr. Barris so simply states: “It’s not life’s circumstances that make you angry. Rather, it is how you choose to think about those circumstances that causes your anger.” While many people will say that their anger just instantly erupts, Dr. Barris notes that “For all experiences of anger there is a period of time during which the anger builds, and it is during this stage that you need to intervene and short-circuit the process.”
Dr. Barris then goes on to very simply describe Albert Ellis’s Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) model as it applies to anger development and management. While many of us are familiar with the subjective pain scale ranging from 1 meaning no pain at all to 10 meaning the worst pain imaginable, Dr. Barris presents a similar subjective anger scale--his “Internal Anger Scale,” ranging from 1-10. This can be a very practical and useful tool to share with angry clients, and it begins to let them observe their feeling states and evaluate them.
Next Dr. Barris gives some easy and clear examples of disrupting anger-producing beliefs. In many ways Albert Ellis’s A-B-C-D-E-F format serves as a map for implementing the popular Serenity Prayer. It is emphasized: “The choice to anger yourself or not ... is always yours.” Without actually saying it, Dr. Barris is tremendously empowering the angry person by emphasizing how clearly one is in control of one’s own interpretations and decisions.
Dr. Barris then explains why and how to take a Personal Time Out (PTO). Emphasizing the importance of pre-event practice, Dr. Barris notes that such practice brings the new skill to easy availability in the next expected or unexpected situation.
Noting that anger interferes with problem-solving effectiveness, the author points out that converting anger into irritation facilitates being able to see many possible solutions, which keeps the individual in a much more flexible problem-solving mode. He then outlines a simple 5-step problem-solving method that, in my experience, few angry people have ever heard of or practices:
- Do I have a problem?
- Gather information (separate facts from opinions).
- Brainstorm several possible solutions.
- Keep those options which help achieve one’s goal.
- Try the solutions.
The author has a delightful section on child discipline which is masterfully simple and clear. It is emphasized that children make decisions too. Parents do not actually control children, but can help children learn by letting them experience natural consequences growing out of the children’s’ choices.
Effectively using the analogy of parents in airplane crises putting on their own oxygen masks before they put their children’s’ on, Dr. Barris notes that parents must master their own anger before they can assist their children’s’ anger issues. Circling back to the beginning of his workbook, the author shows how parents can teach their children how to use REBT to handle current situations and master past prior experiences.
The author provides an appendix made up of 19 pages of homework exercises. I particularly liked the Cost-Benefit Analysis example as well as the blank exercise form, and this would be one I would definitely use in my work and classes for anger management.
In summary, Dr. Barris’ book is readable, very clear, and could definitely be used as a workbook for Anger Management classes, as well as a working tool for those in individual counseling around anger management and conflict resolution issues. I recommend this workbook for those who wish to master anger issues, as well as for those who conduct anger management classes.
When Chicken Soup Is Not Enough is currently only available from the website www.noanger.com, the toll free number 1-866-NOANGER (662-6437), or sending a check for $18.50 ($15.00 plus $3.50 S/H) to the author, Bradley P. Barris, Ph.D., 5327 McKans Cove, Memphis, TN. 38120. Reviewer Dan McIvor, Ph.D., is in private practice, 1776 Fowler, Suite 2, Richland, WA 99352, 509-783-1705, dananbarb@aol.com.