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Dinosaur’s Divorce
By Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown. Boston, MA: Little Brown and Company, 1986, 32 pages, $6.95.
On January 22, 2001 at the Baltimore City Courthouse Office of Juvenile Medical Services (JMS), the day’s case was a six year old who was in the middle of a custody battle between her parents. The court ordered that she be seen by the office in order to assess her living situations with each parent and for the office to make recommendations as to what is in her best interests. Once she was comfortable with the interviewer, she provided a wealth of knowledge. She talked about her conflict over with whom she wanted to live. She discussed the things that her father would say about her mother’s new boyfriend and the things that her mother’s boyfriend would say about her father. And, she talked about how her parents would argue over her and her brother sometimes. While her parents seemed to get along well with each other, it was clear that their divorce was having an adverse effect on this little girl. While it was only JMS’ responsibility to evaluate this case to help decide which parent was better prepared to have custody of the children, it seemed that this little girl might benefit from having someone objective, such as a psychotherapist, with whom to talk. When reading the synopsis of Dinosaur’s Divorce by Brown and Brown, it seemed a like a book that might really be useful for this little girl in conjunction with psychotherapy. After reading the book, it was obvious that, as well as being useful for both young children of divorce and their parents, the book had many strengths as well as some limitations.
Dinosaur’s Divorce is a thirty-two page fully illustrated book that discusses divorce from beginning to end from the perspective of young dinosaurs. The book seems most appropriate for younger children between the ages of six and ten. The book begins with a glossary of terms and the remainder of the book is broken into different sections. Both of these strengths help introduce children to the new situations that they may encounter. The glossary of terms takes complex words and puts them into simple, understandable language that a young child can comprehend. The terms range in difficulty from words like stepparent to alimony. One example is visiting rights, which might be a new and unfamiliar term to a child but is defined as “certain times set aside for you and the parent you don’t live with to be together” (p. 3). Once the child grasps some of the concepts surrounding divorce, the author takes the child and their parents through different stages that might happen leading up to, through, and after a divorce. The different major sections of the book address these new situations one at a time. The author covers topics such as why parents divorce, ways that a child might feel about divorce and how the child can deal with those feelings, what happens after divorce, living with one parent, visiting a parent, having two houses, celebrating special occasions, telling friends about the divorce, meeting parents’ “new friends,” living with stepparents, and having stepbrothers or stepsisters. So, the child and their parents can use the book at any point in this experience. The child may be able to read the book and recall earlier incidents and then read the sections about what the child is going through in the present.
Additionally, the book is written to the child, discussing his or her perspective on the divorce; however, the book also addresses potential issues that may arise as a result of what divorce is like for parents. For instance, the book talks about how a parent may yell at a child when the parent is really feeling angry with the other parent and not the child. Another example is when the book talks about how divorce is a new experience for parents, thus causing parents to make mistakes that children should be comfortable confronting with their parents. Dinosaur’s Divorce also addresses the issue of what re-marriage is like for the new stepparents and potential questions, like what to call a new stepparent, that may arise. This perspective allows for communication to ensue between the parents and child for several reasons. First, since the book is written to the child, the child can understand what is being discussed. So, parents have a foundation on which to begin a conversation. And, parents do not need to feel overwhelmed by having to explain divorce. Second, the parents can use the book as a starting point for discussing what divorce is like for them since the book also addresses how divorce impacts parents. Related to this idea is that Dinosaur’s Divorce can allow parents to be exposed in a non-threatening manner to what their behavior does to their children, thus opening the lines of communication.
In addition to the aforementioned benefits of this book, there are two more subtle advantages to Dinosaur’s Divorce. Throughout the book, the illustrations depict both male and female dinosaur children in the various situations. Without having to state it explicitly, the pictures convey that divorce happens to all children, not just boys or girls. Also, the book seems most appropriate for younger children between the ages of six and ten. So, the fact that the book is only thirty-two pages long is useful in that the child should be able to stay focused on the book for its duration.
All of these strengths have implications for the use of this book in psychotherapy. Just as the book can be helpful in opening up communication between a parent and child, Dinosaur’s Divorce can help a clinician and client work on issues surrounding divorce in psychotherapy. As many advocates of play therapy will attest, children often find it easier to deal with issues when they do not have to confront the issues when directly related to themselves. So, by having a child read Dinosaur’s Divorce for psychotherapy, the child can project their feelings onto the book. This allows the psychotherapist valuable insight into what the child is thinking and feeling and offers a place from which the clinician can proceed. Therefore, a psychotherapist may want to read the book with a child in therapy. The book could even be a starting point for allowing older children to work with the clinician to create a book of their own addressing their unique experience with divorce.
Additionally, because the book offers the perspective of the parents as well as the child, the book could be used as a tool in family therapy. For this purpose, the fact that the book is written at a level that the child can understand and addresses how divorce impacts the child and the parents allows it to be useful in working through family issues surrounding divorce or remarriage. A psychotherapist may consider assigning the book as homework for the child and parent to read together and then discuss the following week in psychotherapy. However, one possible limitation of the book in treatment is that children and their families have be prepared to deal with the possible effects that divorce might have on them. Parents have to be willing to see that their child is having difficulties as a result of the divorce and not some other cause. Of course, the divorce really needs to be the source of the child’s difficulties. Secondly, children have to be willing to accept their parents’ divorce. Otherwise, Dinosaur’s Divorce may not be useful for a client.
Overall, Dinosaur’s Divorce is a well-written, creatively illustrated book that attacks the issue of divorce at a child’s level. Clearly, Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown were very thorough in their effort to portray an accurate and comprehensive account of what divorce frequently is like for children and their parents and how certain dynamics may play out during the changes that occur as a result of divorce. All of these factors make Dinosaur’s Divorce a seemingly useful tool in psychotherapy.