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Teen-Proofing: Fostering responsible decision-making in your teenager
By John Rosemond. Kansas City: Andrews McNeel Publishing, 2001, 265 pages, $14.95
Teen-Proofing: Fostering responsible decision-making in your teenager by John Rosemond examines parenting skills and methods of disciplining teenagers. Rosemond is a parent of two young adults and he uses his own experiences as a basis for this book. Rosemond’s approach may be viewed by some as somewhat radical because he uses humor throughout the book and he takes a relatively light-hearted approach to parenting teenagers. Due to the nature of the humor of this book, it is not recommended for parents who are more conservative or old-fashioned. Rosemond acknowledges that this book is not designed for everyone. He indicates that the book is not designed for parents of teenagers who “get into serious trouble all of the time (i.e. drug abuse, promiscuity) or any other far out issue” but it is designed for “caring, well-intentioned parents who often become their own worst enemies when it comes to teenage children.” The clinician must use his or her own judgment as to whether or not this book is suitable for a specific client.
One of the first questions that may come to mind when picking up this book is “what is teen-proofing?” Effective teen-proofing means managing and parenting adolescents in such a way that enables them to make “self-protective” rather than “self-destructive” decisions and to assume responsibility for their lives. Rosemond is very straightforward with his ideas of teen-proofing in that it does not guarantee that adolescents will not get into trouble or make wrong decisions. As Rosemond states, “you can proof your teen only so far.”
“Putting it into perspective” (PIPPS) is one of the core aspects of this book. There are four PIPPS principles. The first principle is that of “Be assured, you are a responsible parent.” If one was not a responsible parent, then one would not be reading this book. That is how Rosemond knows that his readers are responsible. The second perspective is that “Teens can do bad things (even things you never find out) and still turn out okay.” This principle is similar to that of the person is not the behavior. The third principle emphasizes that parents are not the only force in their teen’s life. In addition to parenting, temperament and peer influences also play significant roles in a teen’s behavior. Rosemond also emphasizes that parenting is especially important in the early years, but its impact becomes less influential as a child gets older. Finally, the fourth principle is “You can do the right thing and things may still go wrong.” These four principles provide parents with an outline for the rest of the book and give them a basis to work from for the duration.
The rest of the book looks at various topics such as the “Six C’s parents of teens most need to keep in the fronts of their minds so as to prevent, as much as is possible, problems, frustrations, and downright broken hearts.” The six C’s are curfew, cash, car, cohorts, conflicts, and consequences. A proactive approach as opposed to a reactive approach to the six C’s is strongly recommended. “Drugs, Sex, and Other Cheap Thrills” is another focal point of the book. Once again, proactive approaches are provided and Rosemond states that he does not guarantee that parents will be able to prevent their teenagers from engaging in these activities. However, he does recommend that parents establish their authority early on, give their kids some say in how they spend their free time, assist teenagers in avoiding peer pressure and making decisions for themselves, and finally, parents must model good behaviors. The final section of the book is a question and answer section.
Teen-Proofing has many strengths that make it a valuable bibliotherapy tool. First of all, Rosemond does not engage in “teen-bashing.” He takes a realistic approach to the climate of today’s society and the tribulations that most teens endure. Secondly, the sense of realism that is conveyed throughout the book is a strength. Rosemond is honest and as a result, readers are able to place more confidence in his parenting strategies. A third strength is that the book is user-friendly in that it is written in a very simplistic fashion. It is free of psychological jargon and therefore, it would most likely be very appealing to most psychotherapy clients. This book would be suitable for parents of teenagers and parents of children who have not yet reached adolescence. However, this book would not be suitable for more conservative clients because Rosemond uses a great deal of humor in this book and some of his advice is very light-hearted and could be viewed by some as being “radical.”
Despite its strengths, Teen-Proofing may also have a weakness. This weakness is also one of its strengths. The light-hearted and somewhat radical approach that Rosemond takes in his writing style can either inspire or offend. Therefore, it is very important for clinicians to consider the individual client when recommending this book. Overall, this book should be a valuable therapy tool. Teen-Proofing is recommended for parents of teens and pre-teens who are willing to consider alternative methods for disciplining their children.